What I've Learned About Life
by Simple Heart
Summary: Final part of the Useless to Resist Trilogy. Did McKay make it and if he did will he make good on his promise? How does Sheppard feel about what happened?


Ok so here's part three of the Useless to resist Trilogy. I know you've all been waiting in sheer desperation for it, . riiiight. So here it is hopefully it won't disappoint. I may or may not write more to this storyline we'll see, but I have signed up for 10 Hurt/Comfort prompts for McShep so I'm not done writing for these guys just yet! I'm thinking I'm going to have the first one posted sometime in the next week, so check back soon!

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He stood in front of the infirmary once again, a forlorn, restless look on his face. It had been several days since he'd been down here. Teyla and Ronon had made it back safely, and MR137-84 had been taken off the "planets we can go back to" list. He was indecisive, unsure whether he should go in or not.

For the past four days, he couldn't make himself walk the ten feet to get inside the infirmary. He just couldn't bring himself to go in and it seemed he never would. He was turning to leave when a voice stopped him.

"Are ya ever going to actually come in?" the deep Scottish voice asked him.

He ducked his head in chagrin, slowly turning back around, "Eventually."

"Ya know he's been askin' for ya," Carson told him, arms crossed.

"Yeah, Teyla told me", John replied.

"Then why can't ya even walk over the threshold?" the doctor asked.

"I don't know" came the strained reply, as Sheppard lowered his eyes, emotions warring within.

"What d'ya have to lose?" the Scotsman said, his face softening in understanding, "Go to him."

John looked up, indecisive. He studied Carson's face for a moment before looking past his shoulder, to the bed beyond.

"Go" Carson gently chided.

John nodded his eyes conveying unsaid thanks, and walked past the man towards an infirmary bed. He slowed a few feet away, stopping when a few inches still separated him from the bed. He paused to stare down into the peaceful, sleeping face. He'd come so close to losing him. A pang twisted his heart.

Though Rodney was rather cute when he was asleep, not that he'd ever actually say that within hearing range of the scientist. A smile quirked his lips at the thought.

Lost in thought he didn't notice eyelids slowly sliding open to reveal groggy blue eyes.

"Took you long enough" a sleepy, rough voice caused the Colonel to sharply look down.

"McKay", he breathed, surprised.

"That is my name" the scientist said, raising a brow, though his eyes were cloudy with something John just couldn't quite place.

"How're you feelin'?" he asked, giving him a quick head to toe sweep.

"Better" Rodney replied.

"Sorry I didn't come sooner" John said, embarrassed, a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's alright, I understand" a shadow flickered over the crystalline blue eyes.

And John managed to catch it.

"Rodney? What's wrong?" he asked, cautiously.

"Nothing. What makes you think something's wrong?" Rodney told him.

"McKay" Sheppard said.

Using *that* tone, he wanted an answer.

"Do you despise me now?" came the answer after a moment of silence.

"What?" John asked, confused as to why Rodney refused to look at him.

"Of course you do. I mean, you have every right to. Especially after what happened and then there's me…" McKay began to ramble, and suddenly it clicked.

Rodney could be such an idiot, but so was he. Obviously the scientist had misinterpreted his hesitation, and he'd been stupid enough to wait this long.

"McKay, stop. It's okay" he said, a small, fond smile on his face.

"It's okay? I mean, of course it's okay. I completely understand if you don't…" the scientist trailed off as Sheppard slowly moved closer.

"I've wanted to do this for awhile now, but I never really felt it was the right time. Right now, though, seems to be a good time as any" John said gently against Rodney's lips before claiming them in a kiss.

His world lit up and then imploded. He was so glad that McKay had kept his promise. He couldn't have survived without him. He pulled back just to stare into deep, sparkling blue. A goofy smile bloomed on his face.

"I was so scared you wouldn't make it, it nearly tore me in two" he admitted, seeing the same mirrored in Rodney's warm gaze.

"Hmmm, that took long enough and all I had to do was almost die… We're both screwed and screwed up" McKay chuckled.

"Yeah" John agreed before he kissed those soft lips again.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.  
**Robert Frost**

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Thanks for reading! Don't forget to R&R!

Simple Heart


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